positive eventually runs out.

It's so hard to stay positive all the time. Today is definitely a down day. Or maybe down week. Frustrations are creeping in (which I HATE) and I'm making the choice and working really hard to get them out. We are still awaiting our home study. All the things have been approved and all we are waiting for is the person to come to our house. It's frustrating because we keep seeing kids online we are interested in and are told "send us your home study" Yeah, would if I could! I know it will happen in time and we are holding out but the comments are coming more often from Josey which is just heart breaking because there isn't anything left that I can do. We've exhausted all our efforts at this point and so we wait...

The good news is that I am the first counselor in Young Women's again! I'm so excited about that and I love, love, love that I'm going to get to serve the beautiful girls in our branch. I'm so excited to get to know them. I'm excited to serve with Emily and Lynn. I think we are going to be a good bunch. Once we get the hang of it at least. Hopefully no one will suffer long while we get there. It's going to be a fun and wild ride!

On an awesome note Josey is reading! It's incredible how fast she is picking it up and how patient she is with me. I am awful and have to remind myself a million times during each lesson that it's so hard to read when you don't know how. We have survived 11 lessons and she is reading words ending with ap, as, ad, ab, ig, ip, and so many more! She blows my mind at how receptive she is and she is teaching me SO much everyday. I love her and I'm so grateful for her in my life.

Donnie and I are the same. Growing stronger together, hopefully. He is the Secretary in the Stake Young Men's Presidency and loves it! He loves working with the YM and loves being able to give input in regards to the program. He is still working and still going to school. He said the other day he has been in college longer than he was in elementary and high school. So that's like 13 years. We haven't quite reached that mark yet but we are getting close. However, he has taken breaks for very important and honorable things that neither of us would give up or change for anything.

How grateful I am for the knowledge that Heavenly Father knows me personally and knows my struggles and trials. I'm grateful that I am not in this life alone and that I will make it despite the down times. I'm grateful for the Spirit in my life that it can comfort and lift me.

Excited to see what is behind the next door.

I received a message yesterday from the Grandmother of the two girls. We were going to go meet them this weekend but plans have changed. At first I was angry, hurt and felt betrayed. Then I gathered my senses and was grateful for this woman who cares so much for her girls that she is willing to what is best for them. I was heart broken and so sad at the opportunity we would have had to raise those beautiful girls. However, she knows what is best and I agree with her decision completely.

They have found another family who lives close to them that is interested in adopting them. Which would mean they would always be close to their biological family which is a great blessing. We were disappointed but understanding to their needs. After all, being a good mother requires doing what is best for children, even if it isn't what you want.

I'm grateful for the opportunity that I had to share in the lives of these people and for the friendship that was formed. If only briefly and I will continue to pray that they are blessed with all they stand in need of.

As for us we move on to the next step in the adoption process. Being approved. Wait? Still waiting? Really? Seriously? Yup. Still waiting. Our caseworker is working so hard for us and we are so grateful. We also know that Heavenly Father has a plan for us and when it comes into place it will be the best thing for everyone. We are excited to see what will come and are really looking forward to meeting our future birth mom and welcoming her with open arms into our lives.

P.S. If anyone knows of someone in Alabama that can do home studies please let me know. They have to have MLSW, PIP and something else. Can't remember right now but pass it on if you know of someone.

blog blog blog = blah blah blah?

First I must say I love Pandora Mormon Tabernacle Choir channel. Best songs ever!

Next I have to say that next week can't get here soon enough! We are going to Chattanooga to meet the babes we are hoping to adopt. I am so nervous and my patience, or lack there of, is starting to show. As if it hasn't already. I have this problem with waiting, always have, always will. I had a doctor tell me once that I'm a control freak. I wouldn't go that far but I like control. That's why it has been such a hard road coming to the place where I totally rely on the Father in all things.

We have found an attorney that is going to be most helpful. He actually took the time to call me back, not knowing for sure whether we would hire him, and talk me through the entire process. We will hire him. He is the most affordable and thankfully the one I get a good feeling about.

I already know it's going to be so hard to leave next weekend. I am so looking forward to it but I am really nervous! Mostly about the girls. I am praying they feel the same about me as I do them. What a blessing this whole process has been.

And that's it. My brain is not functioning properly today.

Wow! No spelling errors today. Maybe.

Happy Sunday

We got to see our new Stake Presidency today, well, minus one but he's there all the time so we've seen him. Their whole persona's have changed. I love to see men with these heavy callings and the way they grow in an instant. The whole process is amazing.

Still waiting for our two weekend's from now. Time is slowly going. Lawyers are lawyers and won't return phone calls and home study's are going to be happening soon. I'm enjoying Josey and loving her every moment. Well, not the sassy ones but all the others. We've had lots of sass lately. Not sure what her deal is but hopefully just a bump we will get over soon. We are certainly working through it.

The Spirit at church today was very strong. I love Sundays like this. And now dinner with friends and family. Can't ask for more. Except the rest of my family. But soon enough...

Trying my hand and eye at photography

Great moment of stillness in time

Add caption

Cozumel

It was SO HUGE!

This is next to the street in Cozumel

These are all over the streets. It was awesome!

This was the bit of beach we got in Cozumel. It was on the side of the road.

We actually had to pay for this but the guy said it was for a good bird cause. Cool nonetheless. 

The bird had already eaten my earring and was proceeding to eat my clip.

The water was gorgeous.

Looks like a map of clouds.

I see a hurricane. Anyone else?

The clouds are so fluffy out there.

This is what we came home to in Tampa. 

So peaceful in the middle of the Gulf.

Of course, Donnie took this one. I can't take credit. It's pretty amazing though.

This is in Birmingham behind the Chick-fil-a on the way home from the Temple. Hilarious! We actually turned around to take a picture of it.

Josey feet and can you guess what kind of feet?

Wave

All the so far girl cousins. Can't wait to add the others.

Gorgeous sunset.

The waves actually made the picture look like this. just kidding.

this is one of the best pictures I've ever taken.

Our trip to the Lamanites (sort of)

These are some of the pictures from the ship on our cruise.

I actually took this one. It was sitting on the front of the ship which had an amazing view and an amazing breeze.

This was Wency our waiter. He is from the Phillipines. He was so much fun and treated us like royalty. The food really made the cruise. I came home unable to eat normal food.

Josey being cute Josey. She took that one too. Unfortunately there wasn't much to do.

Well, I can't get the layout pretty but you get the picture. Or pictures. LOL!

Josey getting her hair wrapped in Cozumel.

Cool slide. Couldn't go down because Josey was a tad too short. Big fat bummer.

They actually had towel folding programs on board.

don't know how to rotate. Kind of looks better this way.

This is Cozumel with the sun coming up and us into port.

These are some of the friends she made on board.

So much has happened.

I will save the best for last. And worst for first.

First I have to say, I'm trying to kick Josey out of my room, well, I say kick, I'm nicely suggesting she go play with her toys so I can blog. UGH! I guess that's what happens when she won't sleep past 630. I am drinking a slim fast, not because I need to lose weight but I thought I'd try it since they were in my fridge. Donnie was needing to lose weight for drill in Sept but they pushed it to Oct so he's doing the same thing he always does to lose weight. NOTHING! UGH! The fairness in the ability of men to lose weight is incomprehensible. I can't even think about it the unfairness of it. Although, I just was so now I stop. Really stopping. Until I take another swig of this horrifying chocolate gueeewwww. I don't know how to even spell a word to describe the awfulness. Although, now I'm not thinking of the men losing ugh! there it goes again.... OK, moving on to better things.

Josey gave a talk yesterday in Primary. Well, she tried. She's so tenderhearted and can't stand attention when she's embarrassed. She buried her head in me and cried. She has done other talks and I know she will do fine next week when she is given the opportunity to go again. I love my little girl. She is such a strength and example of Christ's pure love for us. Josey likes the slim fast. How funny is that. There was only a tiny bit left but she gulped it down. I don't know how people can get full on that because now I've had the calories and am NOT filled up.

Moving on....

So our home study that was supposed to happen on Saturday didn't because there isn't anyone who has the right qualifications. Stupid Alabama. I have to say that this state is so slow and backwards in EVERYTHING! I love the ability that it has to keep God in lives but the laws are so outdated. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan in all things and control so I know it will work. And doing a private adoption could possibly save us money. So it will be better how ever it ends up working. More details to come on that at a later date. I should be receiving an update sometime today on the status. Pretty much my thinking (which is usually wrong) is that the state wants people to adopt kids in the state (which makes sense) and doesn't want other states involved. Now, in most things I am totally supportive of state's rights, just now when it personally affects me. Just kidding. But adoption should be a national thing. Every other state is open to this idea. Just not Alabama. But they have been against us from the beginning of our parenting so it's no surprise that this is too. That being said, I love living here and I will be contacting my representative.

Onto the good news. Or rather fantastic news! We are meeting the family that I have been talking about in September. The one with the two girls. I have spoken a few times to their grandma on the phone and she is such a sweet lady. Cares so deeply for her babies and I'm grateful she's trusting enough to allow us to meet them. I am all set to make plans but Donnie wants to wait until we all meet. Which is a good thing. I need to be more level headed but a mom just knows. So my emotions are all in but my head is being leveled out by my husband. LOL! That sounds hilarious! Not in a literal way of course. leveling my head! Sometimes I'm just  TOO funny!

I am going to begin contacting attorneys to find out the next step should we decide to move forward. I'm excited and anticipating mid September. I have seen some pictures of the adorable angels and have fallen in love! I can't wait to meet them. I really feel like at this point our families are going to fit together wonderfully. It's amazing the trials and avenues that we travel in this life to finally reach a point where it all makes sense.

After talking with our caseworker on Saturday and hearing the news that we are still at a stand still with the approval process for the adoption I felt fine. Greatly comforted in the testimony that I have of the Lord that He knows all things and can see the bigger picture. I am now and have been, but now especially, grateful for the struggles I have been through with infertility. The roads that have led me to this place. To meet this family at this time. The Lord truly knows what He is doing. Of that I have a firm and unending testimony.