this roller coaster we call adoption. WEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

So not even approved yet and the fun begins. Now that the family has all been informed (most anyway) I can post our real update on here. Nothing for real and certainly not huge but worth mentioning. When I began this adventure I decided I would take it in stride and for what it was but now I've decided that I will get excited about every possibility and prepare to the fullest for each.

I am quite certain that my days of ttc (my still days) were and are all in preparation for this. I believe this to possibly be harder and maybe more frustrating at times because it's not only relying completely on the Lord but I really and literally have no control over the choices the other parties involved will make.

I will mourn in times of mourning and rejoice in times of joy. That sounds funny, but it is true. This is and will be the most exciting and possibly a more heart breaking (at times) journey than just trying to have a biological baby. So as of today we are excited about the possibility.

On with the point... While we were meeting with Jenni, we mentioned that we had checked into DHR and the thought came to her of two kids (two girls) that were possibly needing a home. Grandparents are wanting a family that is young to be able to give them what they would most enjoy. I can't imagine how hard that decision must have been but so grateful that it has been made. There is another couple who is considering it and they are also preparing for a birth mom to place with them as well. So we are back up. We may have a 9 year old and a 1 year old. This is obviously all up in the air and like I said we have NO control over it. Thankfully, though if they don't come to our home they will be going to another LDS family which comforts me.

It's very strange the way Heavenly Father works in our individual lives and how even if you don't pray for things you receive answers and confirmations to questions and situations to come. I'm definitely not sure why things work this way but nevertheless, they do. I'm thankful for a testimony and my ability to acknowledge the Lord's promptings in our lives. We are open to many situations and are so looking forward to the day we bring our baby (or babies) home.

At first I was telling myself and our family not to get their hopes up but really, why not? We will be sad no matter what if they don't come to us so why not enjoy the possibilities as they come. This is a really big milestone for me to have reached in my life because I used to always think the worst and expect the worst so as to not be disappointed with the outcome. But really? Life is too short for negativity and too many opportunities are lost in sadness so I'm trying, striving, everyday to make that day a happy positive one. I'm so looking forward to things to come and so enjoying it as it is.

And remember to remind me to reread this post when I'm back to the blah attitude:) Thanks in advance. Oh and just a warning: please remind me to read this and nothing else or you have the potential and great possibility of losing your head:)

A very productive trip...

Yesterday, all day long, Josey was so excited to go on our 'mini' vacation. It was fun. We left yesterday and went to Atlanta for the night. We got to our hotel, went to eat and tried to swim but between all the people in the gallon of water and the thunder we ended up swimming in the bathtub in the morning. (Yes it was big enough) . She was such a good sport.

Then today, best of all we met with our new case worker and had our interviews. We only have the home study left and then we will be approved! I will admit, I was losing my desire to adopt because it had been SO long since anything had happened, but today, after talking with Jenni, both of us are so super excited! We can't wait to find our baby or kiddo's or whom ever the Lord has in mind for us. 

Our fire has been rekindled and we are so excited! Josey was a nut and woke up this morning at like 4 our time. I don't know what got into her but she was ready to go. Donnie and I were sleeping in between excited comments. She is a doll. Then she got to nap on the way home and alas, we are still exhausted, no nap no thing and very happy (better than not) four year old wanting to PLAY PLAY PLAY!!!!! I love our family. 

We were discussing today what we will do if we are blessed with more than one kiddo and we decided on bunk beds for Josey and her new sibling. EEEKKKK!!!!! The excitement boileth over! (I know, not a word:) 

This is so hard...

It really is so hard for me to keep a blog. I don't ever know what to say about us. I sit down to do it and by the time I pick the background I've run out of time to actually post. Why do I feel like my background says a lot about who I am? I suppose I'm a dork. That would explain it, right?

We have finally finished all of our paper work and are meeting with our new social worker on Saturday. Thankfully, we now have someone who knows what she is doing. She is a wonderful help and is very proactive and helping us find our baby. I'm so grateful that things are beginning to go forward again. It is very disheartening at times to not only have to deal with pregnancy announcements now but also other's adoption announcements and progressions when ours had been at a stand still for so long. 

Partly my fault and partly the fault of all the legalities but as I have said many times over, Heavenly Father has it all under control and when it is our time, which it will be some day, He will provide us with our blessing. As all trials in this life are meant to do, my struggle with having more children has helped me grow closer to my family and the Lord. I am grateful for the experiences that I have had to help these things happen.

I remind myself daily, and try to picture in my head, what Heavenly Father would say to me if He were sitting next to me. I can hear Him very plainly telling me "Just wait! It is going to be so much better than you can ever imagine." Not only does that thought bring me peace but it gives me a firm hope that what we desire more than anything in this world will come to pass. I'm grateful for that knowledge.

We are so excited to continue on this journey and can't wait to be approved so we can begin searching for our birth family. We are excited to not only welcome a new baby into our home but a whole new extended family as well. I am going to try my very best to keep this updated so we can pass this info onto our birth parents. 

If you know of anyone who is looking for an adoptive family, please send them our way. It is a journey we would love to share with any of you willing to help:)

As for us, Donnie is doing amazing. He is a great dad and an awesome husband! I love him more now than I did when we were first together. I never understood what people meant about that but I'm beginning to understand. He is going to be finishing up his last year at JSU. Finally! We are excited what that holds for us in the near future. 

I am going to start school again in the Fall in Graphic Design and Photography. I will also be taking some drawing and painting classes. It's something I have always wanted to do but never had the courage to do it. I am so grateful for my family supporting me in this new adventure. 

Josey is incredible. I don't really need to tell you that though, as I am sure all of you that know her will agree:) She is learning to read and is working really hard to learn the sounds of the letters. She can write her first and last name, count to one hundred and is willing to be friends with anyone. She loves to help cook and do the dishes! How I hope that one sticks around forever! She is such a beautiful little girl and I'm so grateful for her in my life. I wouldn't be me without her. We wouldn't be whole without her. 

Not much else is new in our lives. We will be getting some cards to pass out to pretty much everyone for our adoption so if you are willing to pass some out please let us know and we will get them in the mail to you.

once upon a

I'm so bad at keeping this thing updated. I'm going to try really hard to do more. Today I'm going to see Alice and Wonderland with Josey. She's going to love it. I hope anyway. My mom and I always try and watch the cartoon one (I've never seen the whole thing) and we always fall asleep in the middle. Apparently this is a run in the family thing because Josey does it too. We may actually end up seeing the Tooth Fairy instead. She might like that better. Not sure yet. Unless Donnie took her to see that. I can't remember.

Well, we are finished with all of the paperwork and now we wait. Hurry up and wait. Sounds a lot like the military. Hurry up and wait. Such is life I suppose. So we are excitedly awaiting the letter of approval and we'll go from there. Exciting times are ahead!

much accomplished and much to go.

Josey sweetly spilled a cup of water over my cell phone so it now buzzes, apparently when I talk to people. However, the buzz is only on their side, so either I need a new phone or they need new ears. I'm going with the new phone so I cashed in our insurance on our att plan and I am getting a new phone sent out. It's blue not green which is super sad but it should work. Here's hoping.

Before Donnie left for work we were discussing the fact that we were going to have to sit in the 3 hours a Tuesday night class for 10 weeks and listen to someone tell us how to be parents. Now, we know we are not by any means perfect parents but we do strive to be the best we can be. Minus the screaming fits. Mine, not Josey's. So we decided that our tax return is the amount it is for a reason. I'll come back to the rest later.

Yesterday I was able to help out a friend and there was more received on my end then on theirs. I got to hold one of the cutest little boys ever! And while I was doing that I fell in love with the idea of a baby. Then later we went to the Teel's to help with the heater/ac, Donnie not me and mostly Jerry not him, and while I was playing with their little one I realized I want a baby. Josey will just have to deal with being four years older because I WANT A BABY!!!!

So this morning I woke up and went to my parents to use their phone so that I could hear and got my phone situation taken care of. Then I called LDSFS to set up an appt and get some paper work to get us a baby! So with that said, Robin, our caseworker, is sending it tomorrow and then she will either come here or we will go to Georgia.

I realized yesterday that with the whole adoption thing I was expecting to find our kid that accidentally went to the wrong family but that's not really how it works. God doesn't make mistakes. I think I've realized this before, but it didn't stick. So there isn't necessarily a kid out there that was supposed to come to us and didn't just a kid that somewhere is supposed to come to us and went to the right birth mom first. We are so anxious to get things rolling and find us a baby. It's going to be a fun and interesting journey.

So if any of you have a baby you don't want (I know, I know) or know someone who is putting a baby up for adoption let us know.

What a wonderful world...

Once upon a time there was a little boy. This little boy was a spaz and had red hair and freckles and was nothing but trouble. This little boy grew up and became a missionary. This missionary served with all his heart and shared the gospel with some of the most amazing people. This missionary grew up into a man and took his wife to the temple. This man and wife had a little girl and continued on in their happy lives. This man joined the Air National Guard so he could continue to serve. He served his country by going off to war, only to return home safely to his happy family. This man got a promotion and was living his life.

Then one day, he decided to join the magical, mysterious and sometimes evil world of politics. And it was here, in this world of politics, he found his other true love. His place where he could get paid to do what he loved. And I must say folks, he was and will continue to be amazing!

Yes, you guessed it, Donnie had his first political speech last night. He was so good! I am so very proud of him. As we was up there at that podium speaking his heart out, I realized that he had stepped into the place where he has always been meant to be. I am so grateful for the promptings of the spirit to lead us to the true places we are to be.

I can't believe I'm saying it but I'm going to love being a politicians wife. Not because of the politics (obviously) but because Donnie has found that thing that makes him light up every time he talks about it. I always knew he loved getting into heated discussions with friends and family but last night, he had the same light in his eyes that he did when he came home from his mission, the same light that is there every time we attend the temple. The same light that comes with every laugh and smile from our little girl. The same light that Heavenly Father has given us to know that there is one true church and that we are a part of it. He is going to help change the world, one vote at a time and I couldn't be more proud or happy of this place we have reached.

It's such a long road to get to the point where you know you are doing what you were meant to do. I got there when Josey was born. I'm a mommy and I love it! That's the job I've always wanted and how blessed am I to have it! It's the best job ever. And now, Donnie has it too. So often it is important and necessary to do what you can to support those you love. Now, he is going to get to do what he loves to support those he loves.

What a wonderful life.

For the little boy to come into our lives...

Adoption is just right. I know that there is a time and a place for all things in life. If I would have learned that, truly learned that, I would have saved myself three years of heartache. However, had I done that I wouldn't have grown or learned as much as I have in these past three years. Ha! I said grown! Hopefully that's the case anyway. 


I have been feeling like for a really long time that there is a little boy waiting to come into our family. What I didn't realize until a few months ago is that he is already here, waiting to be found by us, his family. The feeling is getting so much stronger that we are to search for our little boy. 


When we started talking about adoption, before Donnie was deployed, I knew it was something we needed to do but was so uncomfortable with the idea. It wasn't the right time. Then we found out Donnie was getting deployed and had to stop, again, not the right time but I was relieved, not sad. I had it stuck in my head that the only way I would be happy with adding kids to our family was through us, biologically. I know that Heavenly Father prepares us for all things and that had I not gone through my life and trials I don't think I would be where I am now and ready to accept and fully open myself up to the idea of adoption. 


What a blessing it is that these little babies can find homes that are better suited for them. Whether it's that they went to the wrong family ( I don't think so because God doesn't make mistakes) or that they just need more family (I'm thinking this might be it) we won't know but I do know that at this time in our lives adoption is going to work.


I am so excited about the possibility of our little boy. I know he's out there somewhere and it's just a matter of finding him. The first little boy that I fell in love with just by looking at him is a no go. We were told that we can't adopt out of state until six months after we finish the classes with DHR. They don't seem very interested however, in getting us started. Then yesterday something really strange happened. I have no idea if it's going to work out but it's a lead and that's what this life is all about, following the Spirit and following leads. 


So a friend of mine, a dear friend of mine, was on Facebook yesterday and we were chatting and catching up and I told her we are going to adopt. She asked if we were going through the church and I said no. We really want to adopt a toddler. I want to have my own baby, which I know I will do someday, so we want a little bit older. Anyway, I told her we were going through the state and she asked how we felt about one that wasn't in the system and I said of course! We are open to all possibilities and she told me that a member of her family had a baby who is now 18 months old. We talked about it last night and we are definitely taking the lead. We were really excited about it. It's strange, I'm excited but calm. Those two things, I wasn't aware, could exist in the same place. 


Anyway, we are waiting to hear back from her about what the grandparents want to do. She said they definitely want to be involved and how awesome is that? We would have three sets of grandparents for our kids! Not many are that blessed! So we are just waiting and praying. It's all very exciting! I'm going to have a little boy! EEEPPPP!!!!! Whether it's this boy or another, we are really excited! I'm even trying to think of what to do to the room. I'm thinking gray (thanks Corrie) with frogs. I love frogs. And then we can change it later to whatever but little boys like frogs right? How fun and so exciting! It's so true when one door closes another one bigger and better opens. What joy comes from this life.