10 dpo

Welcome to the horrible cycle time. I will share a bit with you my insanity that comes at 10 dpo. But first, I should tell you that yesterday we went to FUJI and YUMMY! It was great! Second, everywhere I turned yesterday I saw a pregnant belly. There was no hate, no envy, no jealousy, no coveting, just longing to have my own little one wiggling around inside. So is it now? Probably not, but it will be soon. I'm quite certain. I received a marvelous blessing not to long ago and was promised that we would conceive and bear or bare or some other word, (again with the english language) many more children. I am ok with one more but many more? I will be 30 next month and many more children? I will take what ever I can get. I really just hope I'm not 40 and still having my many more. LOL.


So when 10 dpo hits, no matter how insanely calm I am to this point, I get the constant butterflies, the what was that for every cramp, twitch, thought, feeling etc. I WILL NOT test until tomorrow and ONLY if my temps stay up. Yes, I have been doing charting for over four years now total. It's quite annoying but really awesome to know for sure by morning of the 11th day if my hopes are shattered for this month. If our little miracle happens now that would be exactly that, a miracle. My body is starting to work now and we totally weren't expecting that this month. So let's just say the timing thing wasn't the best. But if Heavenly Father wills it then it can MIRACULOUSLY happen! I know that with out a shadow of a doubt. So here I am my typical end of cycle insomnia. I woke up at 330 and thought for sure it was later. So I didn't take my temp until I just woke up and it was quite high. Usually it's dropped by this point. Or so I thought so I quickly raced in to see what it looks like and as you can see from my chart, if you are intersted, it is quite typical for my temp to still be up. tomorrow's will be the clincher. I will go run in the morning and that will help a ton if it is down. Disappoint still creeps in month after month but usually only lasts a few minutes and I'm back up and moving and so extremely grateful for my little miracle I already have. I love being Josey's mom and I love being married to Donnie. I wouldn't trade the family I have or the life I have to have anything different from what I have been blessed with.


I think the thing that helps the most is that I know my Savior lives. I know that He knows exactly the pains and the anguish and the sadness that comes each month after the inevitable happens. I also know that because my Savior lives and because my Heavenly Father loves me so and knows the perfect timing for all things that someday we will be blessed with more, many more children in our home. Whether that be this life or the eternities, I will not know for some time but timing, my timing, doesn't matter. Only the Lord's. I will not EVER try to bend His will, only bend to allow His will to enter my life for I know that is the only way we will truely ever be happy as a family. I'm so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life and for the blessings that come from being a member of His church. I also know that if a fourteen year old boy can wander into a grove and follow a simple word of advice found in James 1: 5  "^aIf any of you lack ^bwisdom, let him ask of God, that ^cgiveth to all men liberally, and ^dupbraideth not; and it shall be given him." and find his wisdom from our God of love then I too can have the faith that is desired from our Lord.

Check this out:

I had never read any more of that chapter but I just found this: James 1:2-4
2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into ^adivers ^btemptations;

3 Knowing this, that the ^atrying of your faith worketh ^bpatience.

4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be ^aperfect and entire, wanting nothing. 

I have always said that my purpose here and my trial to overcome and perfect is patience. And this scripture completely explained and confirmed to me that I have far to go but have come so far from where I once was. I know that the trying of my faith in trying to bring another spirit into this world is working my patience in every ounce of my being. However, I also know and knew but know more now that if I can but keep this pateince and continue to allow it to grow, then my work, the work I have been sent here to do will become perfectly in tuned to the will of the Lord and I shall want nothing, for haven't I already been blessed with so much and who am I but a tiny servant to ask for more? It's amazing to me that will all the many blessings I have already been given, that there could possibly be more out there waiting for a tiny little servant like myself. It truely is an amazing plan and I pray that everyone in my world, readers of my blog or others, that you too will find the true joy, whatever that might be for you, to help you maintain the person you are and attain the millions of joyous blessings that await. 

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be disheartened, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

What an amazing song this is and how true! 

I really liked this video. It's awesome!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPYYdkScvbQ

Happy Sabbath!