My sister says I'm funny in texting so I hope I have the same effect on blogging. Not sure if that will be the case but sure doesn't hurt to try. I also hope that you don't get bored. If you do then phooey on you and don't read it anymore.
Another disclaimer should be that I can't spell (neither could Einstein) and I don't always capitalize when I'm supposed to so if that bugs you then stop now. Why don't I capitalize? Because I'm just to lazy and hey, if I'm going to take the time to do a blog, I'm going to get out what I want to say and not worry about the punctuation and the know, now, too, two, to rules.
Josey is awesome! She is the light of our lives. She is constantly learning and growing and amazing us everyday. She is so excited to start "school". I got an awesome book from Norma and it lays everything out in a way that I've wanted to do but couldn't get my brain around the organization. "By George! I think she's got it!" Amazing yes, I know. Or is it now? Just kidding, I know it's now. HAHAHA!!!! I'm sure my sister will LOVE reading this one! She is quite the English enthusiast and does this thing do a spell check. Ugh, it does but I have to actually push another button? What is happening to this country when we actually have to work to make things look nice? The nerve! I won't even go off on that rant because it would take me a year to finish and who are we kidding? My house would be in shambles and my life amok if I spent an entire year blogging. I can't even spend an hour, probably not a half an hour. We'll see.
I guess that should be another disclaimer. I'm very random and nothing I think makes sense. Well, I can't lay it out chronologically anyway.
So back to Josey. The light of our lives, growing everyday, learning, amazing, oh yeah, she is so excited to start "school", the book, right. OK, back on track. We are going to be taking 35 weeks give or take some days or weeks here or there and learn our letters and lots of other super fun stuff! I'm so excited to start this journey with my girl. We are planning on homeschooling and I'm getting very excited about the possibilities and the process. It's a little overwhelming to think about it all but I think I'll lay a pretty good foundation with this "preschool" thing. At least I will get us into some form of schedule and habits that should be good, pending we don't kill each other first. Oh, can I say that? Right, I should still have the freedom of speech thing. Good thing this is a private blog.
Josey is also doing gymnastics. I am so proud of her and her accomplishments. She started in February and has already moved up to the pre pre team class. She loves it and her coaches. It's been very good for her. She is gaining strength very quickly and we are hoping to instill in her the willingness, determination and desire to continue exercising and living a healthy life style. After all, our spirits need a healthy body to live in. Anyway, she is so smart and so fun and I am loving being her mom.
Onto Donnie, he is an amazing husband. So supportive and is teaching me so much how to be a better person. He served a mission in Hawaii for our church (I'll get to that in a bit). Thankfully, I met him when I did. He just got back from Iraq and life is good. He is working hard for SAIC, in the Guard still and refereeing high school football at the moment. All things he loves. He is going to be running for State Rep for our district in 2010. We are hopeful that we can get the priesthood in to help restore our government to the way it can be. He is also going to school and hopefully, if all goes well, should graduate in Aug. 2010. He says he's a 10 year senior but he has taken time off for righteous endeavors and I couldn't be more proud to support him in this life.
Me... "I am mom, hear me roar!" ROOOAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!! I love my life. I joined the church almost 8 years ago now. I'm so grateful that I did. It totally changed my life. The last few years have been pretty tough. It's extremely difficult to humble one's self to the will of the Lord. I am far from where I need or want to be but everyday I feel I'm getting a bit closer. I think almost everyone I know, knows that we have been trying to have a baby for over 2 and a half years now. Granted there were a few breaks here and there for different reasons but over all that's how long it has been. It was a hard road. I went through the hate and the jealousy and the hurt and all the grieving steps. Let's see there are 12: OK, I lied, there are 10. The alcohol thing is 12. That's what Google says anyway, and we all know if it's found on the Internet it has to be true right? So 10, wait, I lied again, it's 5. HAHA! too funny. Just goes to show you can't take google searches at face value.
So 5 stages of grieving. (I thought 12 sounded like a lot, we could have been here all day). First is denial or shock. I definitely experienced that. "It can't happen to me, all these other people get pregnant right away, I will too" Those were some common phrases. Next is inward anger. Definitely had that. I was always mad at myself and always thought I wasn't good enough, what am I doing wrong. When the anger was directed at others I would pull away from them and have NO contact whatsoever. Third is outward anger: always talking bad about those who were able to get pregnant, extremely hateful to those around me (sorry for that, by the way). Always, woe is me mentality which moves us right into the fourth which is depression. I was definitely there a lot longer than I wanted to be. And finally, we have acceptance and I think moving on... I think a lot that people, myself included, get so caught up in the me me me thing that there isn't time to actually focus on the important things and how to deal and move on. For me it was having a true change of heart and turning to the Lord. I gained a tremendously strong testimony of Heavenly Father and that we each have individual trials in our lives. We have our struggles so that we can help others through theirs but also so that we can learn to more rely on our Heavenly Father and our Savior. I never really understood the meaning of the atonement until I went through this process. He died for us. He suffered for us. He didn't do anything for Himself. He wants to have a relationship with us. He wants us to turn to Him. That's why He did what He did. With that kind of love in our lives, how can anything be too much to bear. it can't. And that is the beauty of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We all have it and we all have the opportunity to except His plan and receive the blessings we have all been promised. I know that when I joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I was and am many more steps closer to reaching my full potential. I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet and that the gospel, before him, was NOT on the earth. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us and that we are in this life to prove to Him that we are willing to accept the plan, yet again, and do EVERYTHING we can to return to Him. Not just put on a happy face and go through this life but DO. If we do that there cannot be sadness or anger or depression, for we will always have the light of Christ with us. With that, not only will we be blessed but we WILL bless the lives of those around us. And after all, isn't that what it's all about? Helping our brother's and sister's find the same joy and receive the same blessings that we have been given?
I think that about raps it us. Wow! that was a lot longer than I thought I would have. Now it's off to give Josey and the dog a bath. Not together of course. I think Josey would come out wearing more fur than Peggy. Then it's school, school, school. Why she is so excited, I'm not sure but I am loving her love for learning!
May "God Be With You 'Til We Meet Again"
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